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Wednesday, 8 April 2020

Shattered illusions

I suppose that many people fear that the coronavirus pandemic marks the end of a period and the start of a new one. For many, the years up to and including 2019 have shown abundance. The year 2020 shows shortages in areas that are new to us. It's hard to believe that "old times" can and will return. The year 2020 is shattering our illusions.

Our illusions may have been about longevity (senior citizens), affordable housing (young adults), jobs (adults > 40), going concern (entrepreneurs), travelling (tourists), health (patients in/out ICU), freedom (lockdowns, surveillance), intimacy (physical & social distancing), religion (contagion, closures), social contact (colleagues). Probably, you can add some items to this list.

Depending on the duration of this pandemic, new routines may become our default routines (eg, working at home, no more handshakes and/or a kiss on the cheek). A duration of months would probably create a feeling of being liberated from a biological war. A duration of (two?) years may have altered our default behaviour.

Our shattered illusions will make us us look back at our lives until 2019, and believe that these were (near) perfect. Perhaps, your life had been perfect. However, perfection isn't always absolute; often it's in comparison to something else. There is danger in comparing (eg, FS, PT).

I'm not sure how we will move forward. Change (my blogs) often invokes the 5 stages of processing grief as determined by Dr. Elisabeth K├╝bler-Ross: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance - or DABDA. Currently, various people are in various stages. I expect a new DABDA cycle once it becomes clear what will be replacing what we had.

Nevertheless, I am sure that we will move forward, albeit with some grievances. There's no real alternative. After comparing, there is a choice: (1) you can look back at what you don't have, and (2) you can look back at what you do (still) have. That choice is based on (not) accepting change - or stage 5 in DABDA.

Perfection is not an illusion because it does exist. Time, however, always creates wear and tear, a "damage that naturally and inevitably occurs as a result of [] aging". What may come after this crisis is not necessarily bad. It might still be near perfect.

"Claire, you are in mourning. But you're not mourning the loss of your boyfriend. You're mourning the loss of what you thought your life was going to be. Let it go. Things don't always work out how you planned; that's not necessarily bad. Things have a way of working out anyway." A quote from the TV series Frasier Crane (IMDb).

Gold Dust Woman (1977) by Fleetwood Mac

Well, did she make you cry 
Make you break down 
Shatter your illusions of love 
And is it over now? 
Do you know how? 
Pick up the pieces and go home


Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.

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