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Monday, 30 March 2020

Only fools rush into love

Apparently, I have been a fool. A fool for rushing into love. I do not regret it though. It was a great experience. It didn't last very long. Nevertheless, I would not have missed it. I was proud of her, being my love. She was everything I desired, apart from not being a fighter. She gave up on us after our first and only misunderstanding.

I think, feel and believe that I loved her (much) more than she loved me. In her farewell words, I noticed a line that she had felt carried away by my enthusiasm. She is the second person using those words in her goodbye. Still, I view those words as a compliment. My enthusiasm only arrives when I feel passionately about something.

I had sincerely hoped that she would be my final girlfriend. Joining the nearby convent at the age of 60, still seems a little premature. I have no appetite of joining a dating site again. I need to get rid of this disappointment first. Social and physical distancing, following the coronavirus pandemic, might be a blessing in disguise - for me.

During her farewell words, she asked me if I wanted to remain in contact with her. I replied that I did not see the point in that. I would only remind me of what could have been between us. That would only cause prolonged suffering. Moreover, if I would have seen a future scenario for us, I would have taken her offer. I fail seeing that scenario.

Probably, I will focus on my writing again and just wait and see what else will happen in my life. Where doors close, other doors usually open. Actually, this line is part of a quote by Alexander Graham Bell: “When one door closes, another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

Even with the knowledge of hindsight, I do not think, feel or believe that I was foolish to rush into love. A 2013 article in Psychology Today, including its subtitle "The myth about the incompatibility of love and wisdom", supports me in that view. Why? I felt no "conflict between the wise intellect ("head") and the spontaneous emotions ("heart")".

I refuse to give up on Love (eg, agápe, éros, philia, storge). I believe in the words of 1 Corinthians 13:13: "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." I can only hope that I will find myself a similar great love. I have faith that it will happen.

“Love is for fools wise enough to take a chance.” A quote attributed to Amy Grant.

Only fools rush in (1961) by Elvis Presley

Wise men say only fools rush in 
But I can't help falling in love with you

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.

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