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Monday, 9 March 2020

Is someone who overthinks also someone who overloves?

A few days ago, a friend wrote on her timeline: "Someone who overthinks is also someone who overloves". I had to read that line at least twice because the link between overthinking (ratio) and overloving (emotions) was new to me. I can relate to overthinking because some people indeed use that description for me. I had never viewed myself as overloving.

My first and foremost question would be: what is OVER loving? Is that even possible? Is this an absolute phenomenon - or relative to the other person in that "relationship"? Latter could - and thus would - make some sense.

My second observation was that I felt somewhat irritated by this statement. I think, feel and believe that I was irritated by the fact that I never saw that link myself. Obviously, that oversight would make perfect sense when that link is non-existent.

My third thought was: could this link between (over) thinking and (over) loving be true? If so, would that explain the status of my (non-existent) love life?

The weird part in this statement is its sequence: overthinking comes first and overloving comes last. I would have expected the opposite: Someone who overloves is also someone who overthinks. Similar to this Queen song: Too much love will kill you (eg, video).

Actually, the original internet phrase is slightly different: "Today I read something that said "Someone who overthinks is also someone who overloves” and I felt that". Alternatively, the last four words are being replaced by "and I couldn't agree more".

This internet statement might come from a 2017 Thought Catalog article and/or its 2019 update. These articles, however, also suggest the revised sequence in my amended statement: "Someone who overloves is also someone who overthinks". In other words: Loving someone too much causes too much worrying about that person.

Essentially, we have now arrived at my concept of the eternal cycle of Doubt-Fear-Hope-Love (my blogs). Doubt (eg, worrying) always follows Love. Love always follows Hope. Never the other way around.

I suppose the reason is that Love is never equal between partners. There is always one romantic partner that thinks, feels or believes that (s)he loves more than the other partner. In other words, lack of reciprocity (my blogs) in love, either in time, space, and/or intensity.

For another explanation, please see the Queen lyrics below.

Too Much Love Will Kill You (2014 cover) by Danny Vera

Too much love will kill you 
If you can't make up your mind 
Torn between the lover 
And the love you leave behind 
You're headed for disaster 
'Cause you never read the signs 
Too much love will kill you every time


Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.

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