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Friday, 7 February 2020

What’s next?

It's difficult for me to give up on Love. What's the point of living, once you give up on Hope? Where hopelessness rules, suicides take over (eg, 2015 study). Nevertheless, my failing relationships do put a strain on me. I keep on telling myself, jokingly, that you need to kiss a whole lot of "frogs" to find yourself a "princess"; similar to The Frog Prince fairytale by the Brothers Grimm.

As usual, every cloud has a silver lining. The upside of my romantic failures is a boost to my writing inspiration. A close friend keeps on reiterating that my intimate articles are my best (for her to read). Nevertheless, I prefer less drama in my life and writing more conceptual articles. I do realise that the combination of both provides more balance.

I also realise that each new dating experience brings me closer to someone or something, although it's still hard to visualise that outcome. Indeed, I am learning from my romantic failures. Several years ago, I used a roundabout as a comparison. Each time, you cross off an exit and you start focussing on the remaining exits in your search for someone or something.

Living in the south of my country implies being around monasteries. The thought of moving there did cross my mind but I waved it as too farfetched. My faith in a Supreme Being is much stronger than my belief in any religion. I agree with Mahatma Gandhi: "God has no religion."

So, what's next? Remarkably, my life has always felt like a revolving door: the moment someone leaves my life, another person enters my life. In 2016, I already wrote about this phenomenon of Revolving doors. Often, it feels that persons enter and leave my life for a reason. I do not believe in coincidences or chance. I do believe in probabilities.

Fortunately, I tend skipping the stage of Fear in the cycle of Doubt-Fear-Hope-Love (my blogs). It helps that I perceive being alone as solitude rather than loneliness. Hence, I do not feel a vacuum in my life; just a longing for company.

 “Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” A quote from the 2004 novel My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult (b. 1966), an American writer.

No More Drama (2001) by Mary J. Blige

Broken heart again 
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends 
Or else you will get burned 
Gotta count on me 
Cause I can guarantee that I'll be fine

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.

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