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Friday, 6 December 2019

Hurt

I'm easily hurt by people whom I care for. Wednesday evening, it happened again. She claims she had the best intentions when asking her questions. She intends to introduce me to her friends some time soonish, and asked me how I would behave amongst them. She said that her questions should be viewed as a compliment to me. I felt more sad after each new question.

In earlier instances, I had smiled about her inability to recognise emotional clues. She said that she doesn't recognise flirting. I told her that her own behaviour radiates flirting and warned her that men may easily be fooled by it (sic!). She told me that I hurt her by saying that because she means well. We both agree(d) that she is a warm and friendly person, who smiles and laughs a lot.

The issue of emotional intelligence (EQ) had been an academic topic to me. I only know one other person with a low EQ. The (near) absence of emotional intelligence is, however, new to me. The next day, I wondered what zodiac information would tell. Well, the short of it is that pisces and virgo are opposites. Please see my 2018 and 2019 blogs on Why do opposites (not) attract?

An excellent description of what happened is this one:
"A partnership between a Pisces man and a Virgo woman can be described as the union of two magnets. They are different and are dissimilar to each other to the extent that at their first meeting, having just met, they are drawn to each other like the opposite poles of a magnet. When one of them will slightly turn away and demonstrate its personality to the other pole, both will scatter in different directions not even having time to figure out what happened."

We haven't talked since the events of Wednesday evening. It's unlikely she will understand my hurt. Likewise, it's unlikely I will understand her clinical, surgeon-like, approach to relationships. Her questions were very premature. My hesitance in answering her hypothetical questions led her to conclude that I'm full of insecurities and covering these up by using lots of words.

Today, I'm in a self-preservation mode. Hence, I'm considering cancelling my appointment with her, even though our pisces-virgo combination is "a match made in heaven as they have one of the best zodiac love matches". Repairing physical hurt takes a band-aid. Emotional hurt leaves scars on your soul and might be beyond repair. Only time helps to forget and forgive.

A few days ago, I told her that I was about to fall in love with her. I also told her that her continued rational approach had forced my mind to take over control from my heart, in order to protect myself. I would have loved introducing her as my new partner. Unfortunately, she does not recognise or realise how much she is hurting me by her rational approach.

Hurt (2003) by Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today 
To see if I still feel 
I focus on the pain 
The only thing that's real


Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise

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