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Tuesday, 28 February 2017

Perfectly lonely

Recently, I came across a confronting truth:
"People who have been single for too long are the hardest to love. They have become so used to being single, independent, self-sufficient that it takes something extraordinary to convince them that they need you in their life." (picture)

The source of that quote really came as a surprise: Miss Universe 2015 Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach. I didn't expect so much wisdom from someone born in 1989. Her other quotes feel more age appropriate.

I have become quite reluctant in dating women. The main reason is that I don't need women in my life. My occasional dating efforts reveal that I still want a woman in my life but certainly not at all cost.

More and more, I am approaching a point where I stop believing in women. Why?? Each time, I meet women who are not happy and not satisfied with themselves. You cannot expect someone else to become the source of your own happiness and satisfaction. Life just doesn't work this way. You need to find your own source of happiness and satisfaction in life first, before you can - successfully - reach out to someone else. 

I like helping people. To a large extent that is my mission in life. Helping people who are emotionally damaged is, however, an energy drain. I don't mind as long as people are willing to change. Else I get stressed and then it becomes Enough is Enough. In my 27 February 2017 blog, several markers (ie, hearing, listening, accepting, believing, willingness, and faith) and filters were identified in the process of Change.

I am not desperately seeking "Susan". I am perfectly lonely. I am happy and satisfied within my own little world of writing, reading, and writing again. Nevertheless, I want you. However, each new dating disappointment makes me more reluctant in opening up again. More and more, I prefer to hide in my shell. Nevertheless, I believe in you and me. Perhaps that's just naive; perhaps I'm vain.

The reason that I continue is simply that I hate giving up. I thoroughly recommend the Peter Gabriel / Kate Bush song "Don't Give Up" to anyone who feels like giving up. I hate giving up because I fundamentally believe in Faith, Hope & Love: "Now abide these three: Faith, Hope and Love. The greatest of these is Love." (1 Corinthians 13-13)

In each person, I'm looking for that something extraordinary that Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach mentions. Diamonds usually need polishing before they shine (on you) again. It's easier to shine with the innocence of youth. Life does take a toll on many, including me. Accept yourself, including your flaws. Love yourself. Find out Who you are and Why you are here, and shine again. Shine like a crazy diamond.

Shine On You Crazy Diamond (1975) by Pink Floyd - artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom, blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision, rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!