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Monday, 28 November 2016

Busy busy busy

As a boy, time meant nothing to me. Usually someone in the village had to mention to us that our parents wanted us to go home for lunch or dinner. Reluctantly, we did what we were told although often half an hour later or so. As a student, the pressure of time was slowly dawning on me.

Things really changed when I started working. The pressure of time (eg, office hours) was one of the most disappointing changes in my life. Finding a work-study-life balance came at the expense of the latter and benefitted the middle one. Nevertheless, I still had plenty of "me" time while living at my parents. Only with hindsight, I recognise and realise its importance.

Time really hit me in the face after cohabiting. Suddenly, there was no more "me" time. To some extent, there was even no more "me" but just an "us". Time had always been an unknown friend. Now its role changed and time and me were alienating.

At the peak of that alienation, (the lack of "me") time was suffocating me, without even realising it. This subconscious mental feeling caused physical stress. The physical stress found a way out through my back during an elevator ride in my early 30s. My body suddenly froze and I was unable to move. At the end of the elevator ride, I was able to get off but I have had back pains ever since when stress was mounting in my business or private life.

Finding "me" time while having a job, a family, a study or a sport, is difficult. Taking "me" time out of the available "free" time, often brings blame and guilt. I think, feel and believe that one of the greatest gifts in any relationship is granting someone guiltless "me" time (eg, fishing, other hobbies, separate vacations).

In my current life, time is once again meaningless to me. Often I need to focus to realise which day it is today. Out of habit, I still wear a watch. Without my watch, I feel an "emptiness" around my wrist. Whenever I'm using my watch, I look at the date rather than the hour.

For some time, I have felt a relationship between Time and Life. This feeling was too vague to get my grips upon. Now I think, feel and believe that our perception of Time is related to the 3 stages in Life, being: Needs, Wants and Beliefs (part 1, part 8).

In the Needs stage, Time is abundant as our responsibilities are minimal and our parents take care of us. As a child, Time always feels like a never-ending flow to us. Excerpt from my 20 October 2015 blog "In pursuit of happiness": "The second happy life is "about flow. [ ] during flow, you can't feel anything. You're one with the music. Time stops. You have intense concentration."
In the Wants stage, we juggle with our time consuming responsibilities (eg, family, kids, partner, sport, study, work). We maximise or optimise our time spent by economising on our sleep. The 1989 Queen song "I want it all" is a perfect description of the Wants stage. I think, feel and believe that our issues with time management are related to our sleep management (my 2 June 2016 blog).

Since I have entered the Beliefs stage, Time finally feels on my side again. It brings me peace of mind, no physical stress, and mental clarity. My writing is the (self) surprising and unexpected result. It feels like I am floating on time and I like it.

Floaters - Float On (1977) - artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2


Queen - I Want It All (1989) - artistslyricsvideoWiki-1Wiki-2



Deep Purple - Child in Time (1970) - artists 1, artists 2, lyricsvideoWiki-1Wiki-2