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Sunday, 20 March 2016

The Vanishing (3) - the Police

I slept badly last night. I woke up around 4 AM from a sound from my mobile phone but it wasn't from my missing friend. For at least an hour I couldn't find my sleep anymore. Fortunately my mind was already in overdrive and I thought of several useful clues relating to my missing friend. And I also noticed that my WA messages to her mobile phone are suddenly arriving again although they still haven't been read.

The why question has been entering my mind since yesterday. To a certain extent, I do believe that her missing has something to do with me (eg, jealousy of ex boyfriends). Still I think and feel that it is mostly about her. Although she does not have any assets as far as I am aware of, she has been living a rather isolated life in which her work absorbed most of her time. To a large extent, I believe that it was assumed that she would hardly be missed by anyone.

I have the weird feeling that I am the only one who is caring for her missing whereabouts. Her youngest daughter does not reply to my messages. I finally tracked down her oldest daughter who lives in the UK using her husband's name. Her estranged sister has blocked me in WhatsApp. I then used my second mobile number to inform her about the missing person's report that I filed with the Dutch Police. Now my second mobile number has also been blocked.

Yesterday I mentioned in part 2 of this blog that my friend stopped writing in her blog after her departure on March 15. I have been monitoring the page views of her blog for several days. This morning I noticed that her page views are considerably higher than last night although I deliberately did not mention her name or the URL of her blog.

I am using my blog to address her vanishing as nobody seems to care about her. After part 1 of this blog, I received seven messages from her WA account which all failed to meet my criteria for her identification. Part 2 of this blog made me realise that I must file a missing person's report at the Dutch Police as no one else will do. Hence I did.

Besides writing these blogs about her vanishing, I feel utterly helpless. I do feel responsible for her as I am the one who suggested to her to emigrate to The Netherlands and to request for a Dutch passport as her parents are from Dutch descent. For 52 years, she has been living in a beautiful country but even basic services like electricity are malfunctioning nowadays.

Nevertheless, I never expected her to make this step. She seemed too comfortable in her victim role. Although even her blogs talk about her change and her love for me, I was far from convinced following the many conversations I have had with her. Even on January 2 she informed me that she would be arriving just in time for my March 18 birthday.

My last line in part 2 of this blog expressed my doubt and fear about her wellbeing. It is unthinkable that she would no longer speak to me if she had a choice. I feel utterly helpless.

A few seconds after writing my last line I received a 12 second WA voice message in which she asks me not to worry about her as she is okay. I have never ever heard a sadder voice than hers.

Neil Young & The Band - Helpless (1970) - lyrics, Wiki

Helpless, helpless, helpless
Baby can you hear me now?
The chains are locked
and tied across the door,
Baby, sing with me somehow.


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